NEWS FLASH: FLAT 36 EXCLUSIVE

It's not that exciting. Set your expectations lower so it seems more impressive. Okay?

I just saw Cate Blanchett mere minutes ago mere metres from the door to my building. Apparently, she had been in Leicester Square for the premiere of her new movie, and I guess our front door was her designated pickup location.

There were a handful of eager photographers crowded around her as her bodyguard pushed her into her car. I'll admit, I only recognised her as 'someone famous,' and couldn't identify her without help from the Paparazzi.

You can now return to your normal, non-star-studded life.